About Me

I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

Follow Me!

 

Sponsors

Entries in Details (3)

Thursday
Aug182011

Wedding Assumptions: You vs. Them

I’ve been lurking around a couple bridal bloggers sites recently; women who are gnashing their teeth over the details. I get this, I really do. As a self-proclaimed control freak, sometimes it is about absolutely nothing but the details, big picture be damned.

Is this you? If so, you need to fucking relax. Or at least pretend to relax. Or try to pretend to relax. Your fiancé will appreciate the effort.

Why? Because here are the cold, hard facts: some people suck and regardless of all the details you put into something, not everyone will notice. Or care. Or care to notice.

Don’t believe me? Here:

My rehearsal gathering was exactly that – a gathering at a bar. We could not afford to feed our 40+ out of town guests twice. It was a cash bar. There wasn’t any food. This information was supplied to our guests repeatedly with helpful links and locations as to wear to eat, directions and personal favorites. Who listened? A few. Not many. And those who did listen chose to eat someplace far away, encouraging others to go with them and generally making a mess of my whole plan. Those who did not listen were oddly shocked at the lack of food and left early in search of sustenance. My mistake in all this: assuming that people read and remember what you tell them about your wedding.

You vs. Them.

These assumptions cross all borders and boundaries and can make your life a living hell if you let it. For those of you who have been through the RSVP phase, you know how incredibly ignorant, selfish, stupid, petty and generally lame people can be. The people who request a +1 when one CLEARLY wasn’t invited. Those parents who want to bring their kids though you’ve indicated on your website, Save the Date and through family members that your wedding is NOT kid-friendly. The brother-in-law-to-be who wants to bring his new stripper girlfriend. I had a family member RSVP that they were coming only to revoke that RSVP a few days prior to the wedding. Granted, they had a good reason, but it was annoying all the same. I also had to come up with extra invites two weeks before the wedding to placate family members I hadn’t seen or heard from in over a decade.

You vs. Them.

Attention grubbing in-laws or bridesmaids might try to steal your wedding day thunder. Aunt Mildred might talk smack behind your back because of your lack of a formal receiving line or pie buffet in lieu of a fondant tower.

You vs. Them.

What you need to realize is that your guests, particularly ones who don’t frequent the likes of wedding blogs, magazines or who are 253 years old, have no clue about weddings these days. Lots of people show up expecting to see a pair of silver bells as a motif and lots of white draped tulle. They plan to eat dry chicken picante with a house Chardonnay followed by the Electric Slide and the Chicken Dance. We know (yes, you do) that these things are probably not going to happen at your wedding. Your guests do not. For the most part, you should expect them to expect picante and ancient dance rituals. Wedding Assumptions on your part are a HUGE mistake. You will only be disappointed if you do and you do not want to be disappointed with your wedding. But guess what? It is WAY OKAY if a guest is. It ain’t their wedding. It’s yours and your fiancé's.

You vs. Them.

Now, I don’t want to seem like I’m encouraging you to give your wedding guests the big, fat finger. You do want your guests to have fun and not go hungry, but in reality, there is only so much you can do for people. Those who complain totally deserve the big, fat finger. There are many ways to give someone the big, fat finger without actually flipping off your great aunt or the slut your now brother-in-law brought as a date even though you strictly forbid him to do so.  A well-timed comment said with a sincere smile works wonders. Don’t be a bitch, but be direct. Don’t sugar coat, just tell it like it is. I did this on more than one occasion and it was generally met with understanding (pre-wedding) and absolute compliance (during The Big Show).

I did gnash my teeth over it, of course. I have some regret over the time I spent with my teeth, but it was only because I had to figure out the way to be a bitch without sounding like a bitch. That’s definitely a tough one for me. Go figure.

While you’re excited about the RSVP’s coming into your mailbox every day, expect the lame. Know that your wedding day assumptions are most likely totally different than most of your guests. It’s YOUR party. And it’s not just a party. It’s the day that you are committing your life and love to another person, forsaking all others. That, my friends, is a huge fucking deal. The way you and your groom decide to do that has nothing to do with formality, convention, traditions or the almighty dollar sign. In no way will it always be easy, but then again neither is marriage. Get used to working at it. Trust me though, it’s totally worth it.

Tuesday
Sep072010

A Wedding in Progress

Happy Tuesday, Lovers. Good long weekend? Yeah, me too. A much needed massage at Corroboree and additional self-love treats the included wine drinking and a mani/pedi. I slept a lot and ate indulgently. And uh, now it's back to the grind. Bummer.

Yesterday I met up with one of "my" brides, Miss Natasha. She is another Nashville bridal blogger (Big Spoon Little Spoon) who is getting married on the coveted 10.10.10 date! I'm creating a custom shorty bubble veil and hair toy for her and we did some fitting and altering of it. It's going to look SO CUTE when it's done, I just can't wait. While I was over at The Spoon's residence, Natasha was so sweet to show me "The Room" where are things wedding have taken over. I was so excited. I have no idea why. It's not my wedding. I mean, I know Natasha, but it's not like we've been BFF's forever. I really do think that I've got an issue with the World of Weddings now. How, may I ask, did this happen? Good Lord.

At any rate, I took some snaps of her work in progress and am just dying to show you some little snippets of her amazing DIY planning thus far. Her colors are white, ivory and champagne with little snippets of black. It's looking REALLY pretty.

 

Bubble veil in progress.

 

A snippet of her AMAZING dress. She got it for a song too - SAMPLE!

 

The most adorable little bags for their candy buffet. See the LITTLE SPOON!?! So freakin' cute.

 

DIY wedding signs a la Natasha.

 

DIY Wedding Wands! What's a Wedding Wand? Just another option to bubbles, sparklers, rice, rose petals...you know, a Wedding Wand.

 

Her GORGEOUS poms! Miss Natasha tea-stained THOUSANDS of coffee filters. They really are stunning.

 

More coffee filter decor! Love it.

 

She hand-cut these to save bank on a one-time use punch. I hear patience is a virtue...The Virtuous Natasha!

Little Spoon is just 34 days out from her wedding. It's the final countdown, right? The girl has got it together though and appears ready to wed. She's been working her tail off so that she can try to relax these last few weeks before the wedding. I did the same too, although it still just gets crazy when you get down to the wire. I am excited that's she letting me do her veil and hair toy. Can't wait until it's done!

Are you getting down to the wire? Are you ready? Did you wait until the last minute for everything? Did you think a DIY project would be easy and were you wrong? So wrong? Do tell.

Friday
Feb052010

Details Schmetails. 

I think by now you all may have put two and two together and know that I am fairly obsessive, slightly compulsive and anal retentive as all get out. It's true. I love the details. During the wedding planning process, I didn't really start having fun until I could wrap my arms around all the little things. Big picture stuff like researching and hiring vendors was a nightmare for me. I really didn't enjoy it. In hindsight, I think it was because I didn't have a clear vision in my head as to what my wedding was going to look like. I didn't have the details all figured out.

In my job, when I'm putting together a line of merchandise or creating an object, I don't always have a clear vision either. It's a very organic process. In fact, I got totally pissed at my boss yesterday because he wanted a finite, clear idea of a product when it's still in the zygote stage. I got all pissed and called him argumentative and he was all, "Um hi, KETTLE! I'm POT." His smart-assery did nada to improve my mood. Later, he came into my office and placed an empty water bottle on my desk as a peace offering. WTF? I didn't get it either.

At any rate, I started really having fun with the wedding planning when I was gluing labels on match boxes, sewing my veil, dyeing hair flowers and printing! printing! printing! all my menus and such.

I think the point at which it all came together was when I totally committed to my centerpieces. I had been fretting over what exactly to do. You can read about the freak out here. And if you're interested, I still have a bunch of bud vases to sell that I haven't had time to deal with.

After I committed to my centerpieces, went overseas and committed to my chargers, the whole shebang just sort of fell into place. It was awesome. You all know that I just love my photographer Jonathon and his wife Sharon to pieces (Sharon, you guys coming over for the Super Bowl or what?), right? Some of my favorite pictures from the wedding are all the detail shots he took. I know that I have posted about a million pictures of my wedding and you're probably thinking I'm the most narcissistic person on the planet (I feel that particular award goes to Paris Hilton). But truth be told, I am in love with my wedding. It's true. Could you tell? What differentiates all weddings? The people and the details, regardless of how fancy-schmacy or simple you want it to be. Here are my details.

 

 The Hair-Do!

The Bouquet.

The Jewels.

The Rings.

Out of Town Bags. The funny thing is that this was a"reject" bag. Note that part of the E and O are missing!

The Groom.

"I DO!" Shoes!

The Chapel.

Ceremony Flowers. I LOVE the red doors!

The Programs.

The Head Table.

The Cake Buffet.

The Tables. LOVED my chargers. By the way, I have like 50 of these to sell.

The Welcome Table.This included the picture of me and The Candyman (a gift from Sharon!), The Candyman's parent's wedding photo album, my parent's framed wedding invitation, my birdhouse that was for the cards and a place for presents. :)

A 45-year old wedding invitation!

Homemade Cookie Favors.

Matches. I think this might be my fave detail.It was so pointless, but just so much fun to do. It just made my little anal retentive heart sing.

The Bar. Mmmmm....Malbec.

I look at these pictures and I swear, I love The Candyman more each time I do. Why is that? I also want to get married all over again. Can I? Please? Pretty please?

What was the favorite little detail of your wedding? What are you working on now (if you're still planning) that you're loving? Do tell.