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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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It's Moving Day.



And I couldn't be more excited....


I hate packing. I hate moving. I've done it so many effin' times it's sickening to think about. I'm going to try to list all that places I've lived. I'm going to give it shot because I haven't mentally done this list in a really long time. I'm sure my mother, who is currently in Prague, is having a good ol' damn time and I'm sure feeling ZERO remorse for me right now will be able to correct the early years of my infancy, but I'll give it my best known shot. And before I do that, a shout-out to ma mere, it's her birthday today.

So let's see if I can do it. I'm counting any place I lived longer than 3 months. I am NOT counting summer moves in college except for the one where I had an internship in another state. If I were to include the college year moves from dorm rooms and sorority house rooms and crappy apartments, the list would be twice as freakin' long.

Born: Cherry Point, NC


New Jersey

Yuma, AZ

Iwakuni, Japan

Beaufort, SC

Quanitco, VA

Kailua, Hawaii

Springfield, VA

Grand Prairie, TX

Athens, GA

Bloomington, IN

Atlanta, GA

Bloomington, IN

San Diego, CA

Simi Valley, CA

Burbank, CA

Studio City, CA

Chicago, IL

Oak Park, IL

Nashville, TN

And perhaps this is where it comes full circle; The Candyman and I are headed BACK to my birth state of North Carolina.

I had a mini-melt-down yesterday. What if I can't find a job? What if I can't find a job in my field? I've worked so hard to be where I am in my career. I have endured some really crappy positions and horrible bosses. I really love what I do. I keep feeling that all I've worked for will be for naught. What happens now that I'm following my husband's job instead of my own? What does that mean? You know, I'm still trying to define my new married self. I'm still really selfish about my life. I'm really trying not to be, but it's super hard. I think this is the one bad aspect of having not found The Candyman until later in my life. I spent so much time looking out for number one, that it's very difficult to include my husband in all of my thinking and planning. I do things the way I do them because that's the best way to do them. I should know, I've done it before. Practice makes perfect, so do trial and error and I've had my share of both practice and failures.

And that right there is my father talking. The difference between me and my dad is that he is really good at communicating why his way is best and at convincing people to do it his way. Me, not so much. I'm all, "Just do it. Trust me." And that's really not enough (or fair) because if The Candyman says that to me? Oh, it's like game ON. I want to know why I should do it his way. I want to know a step by step plan of execution as to why I should do it any way other than my own, self-tested and self-approved way.  

Even with packing. I've done the majority of the physical packing (taping boxes together, wrapping the stupid shit I should give away and taping the boxes shut). The Candyman has been moving things in and out of the attic ever since we decided to sell the house. This is NO small feat. However, since we're doing things at slightly different schedules and in different areas of th house, I feel very alone. More alone than when I was single and moving.  This makes me angry because I HATE feeling vulnerable. It pisses my off more than anything I can think of. It makes me angry at The Candyman because I feel like we're supposed to be a team and he's not helping me. But he is totally helping me and I just don't get why this is so emotional. I think it's because I really like Nashville. It's the first place I ever moved to where I knew I could stay forever if need be. That is NOT a normal feeling for me.  

I'm trying to figure all this out. I know I don't want to be without The Candyman (oh, fuck - here come the waterworks) for 2 months. We'll be apart for our first anniversary, unless we can figure out a way not to be without too much of a blow to our finances. I am hating the work situation more than ever. It's an exercise in patience every damn day and I think most of you who know me understand why this might be a tad difficult. I'm going to be living with a friend for the next 2 months, a very generous friend to whom I am entirely grateful. But I'm going to be out of my element again. I mean, I'm going to be a roommate. I haven't had one of those since way back in Burbank. We don't have a place to live in Charlotte yet and we're going to have to rent for at least a year. That feels like such a step backwards to me. I mean, I've owned my own home and now I have to rent? What. The. Fuck?  Because you know what that means? It means  that when we do finally buy, we'll have to move. Again. Sigh.....

And that's assuming we'll be able to buy. What if The Candyman's firm doesn't do well? What if I end up blogging for a living versus continuing my career? What then?

The Candyman's voice of reason yesterday was that because of my career, because I'm a money-saving FIEND and because the Karma Gods were keeping a sharp eye on things, we are actually able to make this move and still be OK financially. I mean, once I sign on the dotted line next week, I will have ZERO debt. My car is paid for, my house will be sold. I carry zero balance on my credit cards. I owe nothing. The Candyman has a car loan and some pretty hefty student loans but no credit card or "bad" debt.  We'll have to pay for health care and that might as well be a fucking mortgage payment it's so expensive. OK, it's not that bad, but it's close. It's more like making a car payment for a monstrosity like a Lincoln Navigator (probably the most ridiculous car on the road). So I think compared to most people, we're doing well in this horrid economic crisis.

And here's a little side bar, I was pricing out heath care last week. Get this, if I opt IN for the maternity care aspect of the health care it's like $250 extra a month. Just in case I get pregnant. So, if you pay for health care and you choose not to be covered by this "maternity clause" and you do get preggers, then the preganacy wellness and birth are NOT covered. Really? That seems totally fucked to me. There was a company I worked for once whose coverage included vasectomies and tubal ligation, but would not cover birth control pills. They did cover maternity. How is that even right? And to top it off, COBRA is more expensive than individual health care. I thought COBRA existed to help you financially transition from one coverage to another. Can someone PLEASE explain this to me?

So I should really be looking at all of this as an opportunity for something really great, right? I know I should and perhaps I eventually I will. All I know is that right now I'm big fucking stress ball and I'm scared as shit. And I just checked the weather. It looks like it's going to rain. On moving day. Excellent. And this is how God is fair. It did NOT rain on my wedding day after weeks of gloomy skies and torrential down pours. It could rain on my moving day. Fair trade, don't you think?

So, as soon as I finish this post, I'll be packing up the desktop and will be out of communication for a day or two until I get settled in my new digs and I say a temporary farewell to The Candyman. I'll see you on the other side.

 Keep your fingers crossed fo me, will ya?

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Reader Comments (11)

all the best!!! i hope everything will turn out fine. we, most likely, will be in this situation in a year or two (when contracts end).

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterredwhitebride

Good luck, today! I hope things go smoothly and the rain holds off for you. I'm thinking of you both :)

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Spoon

I've got fingers, toes, and hairs crossed, all to wish you good notice by Karma and the Good Lord Above. You and Candyman are both so good at what you do that I'm sure it will work out, BUT I can totally understand that you're scared. I would be, too. How can you help it? I love you, Cousin!

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGEW

You don't realize how amazing you are sometimes lady. The tough part is the murky and uncertain future - but you can be sure that you'll be with the Candyman and if you meet enough people, something will come your way. I need to send you a real e-mail but hope everything goes well, *hugs*!

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChic 'n Cheap Living

Wow. What an eloquent, heart-felt post. Especially this: "What happens now that I'm following my husband's job instead of my own? What does that mean?" That, I think, is one of the hardest things about getting married "later" in life - we are so used to doing things on our own, knowing how to take care of ourselves, that it can be excruciating to give that up (at least it is for me). After working so hard and putting up with so much bullshit to get to a place you like in a career you love, why you can't just let that go.

Given your abundant talent and smarts, I'm sure you'll land on your feet in NC, probably better off than you are now, even... but I don't envy you for these next couple months. I'm taking an unpaid sabbatical to be with my husband in another city for a semester next year - just a semester away from my job - but it took me months to agree to making that move. What??? You want me to give up my job??? I just couldn't fathom it. Eventually, I came around, seeing how I could use it as an opportunity to advance my career as well... but at first, all I could see was the evaporation of everything I'd worked for. Sheesh. Hang in there!

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWalking Barefoot

Your first time in CA was in Marin County (you visited lots of wineries in a back pack baby carrier! The 2nd place was not NJ, but back to Cherry Pt, NC. Other than that, you got it right.

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomma

P.S. You didn't mention that you were "Made in Japan"! :)

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomma

fingers AND toes crossed. i have faith good things are to come.

and the healthcare thing makes me want to hyperventilate or start sobbing. fricking frick sometimes the legal stupid crap of being married really grinds my gears.

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Oops! I messed it up too! Between CA and Cherry Pt, you lived in East Setauket, NY.

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomma

Best of luck Louise! David and I are sending you and the Candyman good thoughts ... welcome mat is out for you in Austin should you need a getaway with two rugrats and a friendly chocolate lab! Hope moving day went well! hugs!

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjenn

Been thinking about you and The Candyman today! Hope ya'll didn't get too much rain! It's been scattered here the past few days in Franklin. Your posts inspire me every day. :) I just love the amazing woman you are. Can't wait to catch up soon!

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecoming Mrs. Dial

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