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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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Monday
Mar012010

Craptastic. 

GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!

[Before I start my rant, I'd just like to say that The Candyman is currently singing "I'm a Wolverine! I'm a Wolverine!" downstairs in the kitchen and I'm not really understanding that at all.]

I am so irritated. So irritated. I get these email listing updates from a guy who is probably going to be our realtor only because he is the least annoying out of all the other realtors who have crossed our path in the last few weeks. I mean, holy shit. We looked at some open houses last weekend and it was all we could do not to smack the shit out of each realtor we met. And why is it that most realtors are 50+ women with helmet-hair, too much make-up, acrylic nails and the inability to shut the fuck up? Why is that? Just curious, that's all.

So anyway, this dude emails me a listing at 8:30pm on Sunday. It was listed yesterday. The house just happens to be in the fancy-pants area of our neighborhood. I show The Candyman the listing and he's really interested, as am I. We throw on our shoes and actually walk over to take a look at the house last night. I call Mr. Realtor and make an appointment to see it at 7pm tonight.

He calls us at 6:20pm and tells us it's sold. SOLD. TODAY!  WHAT is going on? I thought this was a down economy. I thought no one was buying houses. What is going on, I ask you? This is not a "first-time buyers" kinda house, so I don't think it was a tax-credit sale. This thought pisses me off even more.

We are just so upset. We didn't even get to see the inside and me and The Candyman are just so sad. Have I mentioned that this doesn't make any sense? How can we mourn this house when we didn't even really get to see it? But here, just look at how cute it freakin' is.

I am so pissed.

Mr. Realtor sent me some other listings tonight. I think it was an effort to ease the pain, but it only made things worse. It's like being forced out on a blind date after a nasty break-up. It's just too soon. This house broke up with us. Bitch.

Maybe the loan won't go through. Maybe the people who made the offer will get fired and not be able to buy it. Maybe they'll take a cruise and be lost at sea. Or maybe they'll feel daring and eat that Japanese blowfish dish and keel over, chopsticks in hand.

The Candyman has suggested going over and egging the house, just to make ourselves feel better. I contemplated it, but that's kinda like calling and hanging up (pre-caller ID days)and I'm just not that kind of girl. Maybe when the new owners move in, I'll take them a lemon bundt cake with a pretty, white drizzle icing made with arsenic and powdered sugar. That'll teach those sons of bitches for buying my house.

Nooooooo, I am not vindictive at all.

In the meantime, go below and enter the wedding sign contest. Yes, the pictures are effed up and I've got some complaining to do with my web host. GOD DAMMIT!

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Reader Comments (9)

That sucks because that house is cute. I'm crossing my fingers you'll find something soon. I'm underwhelmed at our apartment prospects in Singapore. Sigh, expensive and ehhh.

March 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChic 'n Cheap Living

You may want to see if you can make a back-up offer. I had a house break up with me, but then the buyers broke up with the house, so I ended up winning. It may prolong the hurt if the original contract goes through, but if not, you're second in line. Act quickly. A house this great may already have multiple back ups.

March 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Oh that's just cruel and unfair. I've been daydreaming about houses and that house is lovely. There is nothing even close to that here that I know of, but that is probably because that house here would be in the 3 mil range and boy howdy, I'm not looking at those.

Even here, the market has shifted. Back in October one of the townhouses in our complex went on the market and sat for 2 months before it sold. Our neighbor put their townhouse up and it was in Escrow in days.

I know you don't want to hear it right now, but you'll find another place!

March 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkc

It is not your house. If a house breaks up with you, it was not meant to be - unless something dire happens to the impostor buyers soon. You will see. The perfect one is in your future.

March 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlo

PS

But that really is a really cute house. Wouldn't you just love to get your hands on that? I would. Imagine all that could be done!

March 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlo

Oh Louise, you are too funny. I feel like that house was never going to appreciate you. You are better off with out it.

March 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJonathon Campbell

I don’t typically read your blog and today I was reminded why. Did it ever occur to you that your language could be offensive? Judging by the way that you talk in your blogs, I am sure you could care less – but seriously. I feel like you may cuss just to be cool or sassy – when really it comes across as classless, in my opinion.

I feel sure that I am not the only person who takes offense to your “goddamn” ‘s – its harsh. But, considering you seem to be really pushing this “The Thirty Something Bride” brand – business cards, etc. Maybe you would want to clean it up some? Not everyone laughs at these dirty rants full of obscenities.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrare reader

Dear Rare Reader,

Normally, I would dismiss the ramblings of an anonymous idiot such as yourself because clearly you are in need of something to make yourself feel superior about. But when you imply that my wife is classless, well you are going to have to deal with me.

First of all, I have never met a woman of a more outstanding character than Louise and that is saying a lot since I have been surrounded by strong-willed well-educated women my whole life. Yes, my wife curses from time to time as does most of the adult population, and yes, she curses in her blog. Simply stated, she writes like she speaks; in a refreshingly candid and truthful manner that most people can identify with. Yes, she openly shares her frustrations in a candid manner and I think most people can respect that. She is not cursing to be cool or sassy, she IS cool and sassy and just happens to curse from time to time. If you can't handle a little adult language maybe you should go back to your Disney DVD's and let the grown ups talk. And in my opinion, posting bitchy little comments anonymously is classless and cowardly.

Furthermore, Louise is not pushing any brand that she needs to clean it up a little for. All she ever hoped to achieve with this blog is to share her experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly, in a way that might be helpful to others. All she wants to do is bring a little beauty into a sometimes ugly and unforgiving world. If that's the brand she's pushing, then I'll back that up every time. We do not live in a sterile world where there is no conflict or profanity and Louise does not proport to live in such a fake world as you apparently do. Perhaps you should take a look at yourself a little more closely if you want a more accurate definition of classlessness. It is only out of respect for my wife that I am not cursing you from here to China.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Candyman

Aw. Thanks, Candyman! My hubby's got my back!

March 10, 2010 | Registered CommenterLouise

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