{On Trend} The Back is Back!

First of all, have you see this? I have a hang-over just thinking about it.

Second, it’s been a while since I dove right into the goodies of wedding fashion world, so I thought I’d chat about one of my fave new trends right now – the open/sheer back detail of weddings gowns.

Now, we could all roll our eyes and think of ourselves as lemmings, assuming the trend is hot because of Carolina Herrera’s gown that whatsherface wore in that incredibly stupid Twilight saga movie. Make no mistake, I was in the theater the weekend it came out, but ohmygod was it bad.

But seriously, a trend isn’t going to become one unless people like it and want it. Need proof? Is ANYONE talking about or copying that god awful headpiece that Kardashian wore on her wedding day? No. Why? Because it was stupid and no one wants to wear that shit.

If you look at trends from a spot about 10,000 feet above all the noise, you can see things moving and morphing. Trends start off small and then grow to horrid extremes and then are gone, POOF! Just like that.

So floating above the noise, looking down at the wedding gown world, it seems all we’ve witnessed for years is a variation of strapless. Strapless, strapless, strapless as far as the eye could see. Why? I think it was a knee-jerk reaction to the sleeves of the 1990’s. (Side bar: so many of my girlfriends from college got married in the 90’s and the lamentations I’ve heard over their gown choices now are TOO FUNNY!). The sleeves got carried away and then Vera Wang stepped  into the scene with her gorgeous simplicity and on a dime, the direction changed.

I love that Kate Middleton brought us back to sleeves and her sister made our jaws drop at the stellar simplicity of the backside of her bridesmaid gown. I would pay some money to know whether or not she was rockin’ some Spanx because DAMN GIRL! Nice ass!

Anyway, you can see things trending from afar. Want a tip? In the décor area, we’ve seen French Provincial and it’s iterations for SIX SEASONS. I wouldn't put a lot of investment into that look for too much longer. We've worn ourselves out with it.

So instead of further dissecting trends, let’s just enjoy some eye-candy of this current one, shall we? Love me some back detail!

 

 

 

Marchesa

 

Angel Sanchez

 

 

 

 

Claire Pettibone

 

Reem Acra

Here are just a few more, jaw dropping inspirations.

 

 

 

 

All photos found in and around here.

So what do YOU think? Loving the trend or no? Do tell.

{DIY Tutorial} When Your Husband Ruins His Clothes, Make Them Yours!

The last time I posted a clothing DIY tutorial, it was because The Candyman had ruined one of my favorite shirts. The Candyman, if he’s anything, is totally a guy when it comes to certain things. He never puts the dishes away in the same place twice. Clothes will lay strewn over and around his hamper, but hardly ever IN his hamper.  There is a halo of crumbs and food stuffs around the leather chair he sits in to watch TV. Like I said, totally a guy, right?  This guy status also applies when it comes to reading the care labels on the clothes he washes. This happened to include a wool sweater he had that he washed (on hot, I’m gonna guess) as well as dried in the dryer. It didn’t turn directly into felt, but shrunk way beyond wearing.

I came across the sweater last week, sitting in the closet, gathering dust and I took it out to give to Goodwill or something. The color was so pretty that I thought it might be a good candidate for a project.

And besides, I wanted a new sweater.

So I would say that this DIY tutorial is rated, on a difficulty level of 1 to 5 with 5 being the hardest, at about a 3. You definitely need a sewing machine.

Here’s what I did:

Because the sweater had a center placket with buttons, I simply cut the width of the placket up the length of the sweater. Basically, I just followed the cable pattern along the sweater.

So now you’ve got some raw edges to deal with. You want to finish those off and turn them to the inside. You can edge-finish with bias tape, ribbon, lace, seam binding – all sorts of goodies. I had a hard time deciding:

You’ll want to choose one that is weight appropriate for your sweater. This is a pretty thick wool, so I choose the brown, vintage velvet ribbon.

You’ll want to measure two equal lengths of the ribbon, one for each side of the sweater. Pin and sew the ribbon on. I did what’s called “stitching in the ditch” with my ribbon. This means I sewed on the very, very edge of the ribbon (“the ditch,” if you will) to keep it pretty-pretty.

Fold the ribbon over to the inside of the sweater and press. My ribbon got a little crinkly after I turned and I pressed it, but it totally looks cute, me thinks. Once the whole thing was done, it actually smoothed out a lot.

The next step is to stitch the opposite side of the ribbon down to the sweater. I did that using  a whip stitch. Grab up a few threads of the sweater, but don't go all the way through the sweater with your needle. You don't want to see your stitches on the fashion side of your sweater.

Next, you need to make the sweater fit your bod. This isn’t as hard as it seems. Once you get the general fit, you’ll want to measure one side and mimic the measurements on the other. You can use a sweater you already have as a guide, if you’d like. Don’t forget to include the sleeves in this reduction step!

I machine basted the seam first, checked it for fit and then sewed a permanent seam. There will be a little bulk on the sides at this step, but don’t worry. We’re about to fix that.

If you’re Ms. Fancypants and have a serger, you could probably use that. I think sergers are The Devil and have a theory on how they’re the demise of fine sewing, but that’s a rant for another day.

Now, since I’d cut away part of the middle front of my sweater and taken up the sides, that means there’s still going to be more fabric in the back than in the front. To fix that, I made a dart up the back.

Here’s a basic tutorial on how to sew a dart, though her methods are NOT couture (yes, yes, I'm a fucking sewing snob) and go against how I feel about people teaching shit on the internet, it's not too terrible a tutorial.

 

After I sewed the dart, I cut it open (this is not what one normally does with a dart, but the material is so bulky, I had to) and pressed the dart open. I finished the raw edges like I did the seams and whip stitched the edges down to the sweater, just to keep them flat. You can skip that whip stitch step if you aren’t an anal retentive freak.

Now at this point, I could stop. I’ve got a basic cardigan with no closures, my seams are finished and it looks cute. But I’ve still got some left-overs I feel I should do something with. Remember the placket and center cable I cut out of the front?

I decided to use these scraps as a front closure. I dug through The Button Bag because those faux leather things weren’t going to cut it. It’s been like 800 years since I dug through The Button Bag and who knew I had a whole other bag inside The Button Bag with all sort of vintage goodies! All so much cuter than that brown one, right?

I cut the top button and button-hole of the placket off so that the top edges would already be finished. The two other edges that weren’t? I simply did a fast whip-stitch over them using matching thread. And you totally can't even tell! It blends right into the heather gray of the sweater and looks totally professional.

I changed out the button, lined everything up at my waistline and sewed the plackets on by hand. You could do it by machine, but it would stretch out the area and probably make it look like shit. I’m just sayin’.

 

So taking pictures of myself is NOT a personal strength as you can tell by the above shots. However, I am SO HAPPY with this sweater, I can’t stand it. I’m totally long-waisted and most waist closures end up under my boobs. The fact that this fits right at my waist and is long enough all over (even got to double fold the sleeves up for a cute cuff!) makes me want to do the happy dance across town. I did do the happy dance across the studio, but I’m not sure that  counts. Does it?

The stand up collar looks great with my hair up and I added some fun dangly earrings that matched the metal of the vintage button. CA-YOOT!

So, too much for your average tutorial, or do you think you could do it? Do you like? I’m definitely going to be stealing more of The Candyman’s ruined sweaters. Yeah, there's more than just the one.

I'd love your feedback!

{DIY Favors} Cheesecake in a Jar!

So one of the most popular posts here on T30SB is DIY Cake in a Jar. Funny thing is, I’ve never made them! Irony at work.

So when I was flipping through the January issue of Martha Stewart Living and saw this:

I was pretty sure I needed to give it a shot. I mean, I gotta at least TRY to walk the DIY talk, right? My first concern? I‘ve never made a cheesecake in my life. Not in a jar or a pan, so this was definitely a new road for me. And guess what? I don’t even really like cheesecake. It’s the very last thing I’m going to order on the dessert menu. Why? It’s just so heavy and so sweet. So we’ll see how all this goes, right?

I had some canning jars on hand as well as all the recipe ingredients, so totally just needed to give it a go. I didn’t have the exact ingredients on hand, but every DIY project involves a bit of “winging it.”

Do you like the clever coordination of ingredients? Well, I left out the sugar and preserves. Lucky thing there’s a list of them too! I used low fat sour cream and low fat cream cheese because that’s what was in my fridge.
Mini Cheesecake Jars by Martha Stewart modified slightly by T30SB.

• For the Cheesecake

  • 8 ounces low fat cream cheese, room temperature
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 3 eggs, room temperature
  • 4 ounces fat free sour cream (1/2 cup)
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon fruit preserves or jam (about a small jar of preserves).

• For the Graham Topping

  • 1/2 cup finely ground graham crackers (from 4 crackers)
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Get your jars set up in a deep pan. I had two large ones and four small, but you’ll want the small ones. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Make the cheesecakes: Beat cream cheese with a mixer on medium speed until smooth. Add sugar. Beat on medium speed for 3 minutes more. Reduce speed to low. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Raise speed to medium. Add sour cream, lemon juice, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Beat for 3 minutes.

Divide batter among the jars, filling each two-thirds full. I knew trying to spoon batter in the jars would be a giant-ass mess, so I put the batter into this pitcher thing. It was a good idea.

Transfer jars to a deep baking dish; add enough boiling water to dish to reach halfway up the sides of the jars. Cover dish with foil; cut 8 slits into top to vent. Please note my perfect pan covered in perfect tinfoil. NOT.

The recipe says to bake until set in the center, about 25 minutes. It took my oven more like 31 minutes. I won’t tell you how I made a mess putting the giant pan filled with water and jars of cheesecake batter back in the oven. Let’s just say that it could have been much, much worse and there was only one dead cheesecake soldier from the snafu.

Let cool. Refrigerate overnight to set.

Meanwhile, make the graham topping. I used my Cuisinart mini food processor which is one of the most used appliances in my kitchen. They aren’t too expensive ($40) and you can get them cheaper using a 20% off coupon from Bed, Bath & Beyond (you’ll get 20% off and $5 off coupons in the mail if you register with them, look through wedding magazines as well as daily mailers). You can also get them SUPER cheap at Costco.

 

Stir together graham-cracker crumbs and butter. Bake on a parchment-lined baking sheet for 10 minutes. Just pop the crumbs in the oven on the bottom rack beneath the cooking cheesecakes. Let cool.

Since the cheesecakes need to set overnight, just put on the lids and stick them in the fridge. Keep the graham crumbs in an airtight container, but not in the fridge.

The original recipe says to top each cheesecake with 1 tablespoon plus 1 1/2 teaspoons preserves. Like I’ve got time for that, Martha. Make it about 2 scoops with a regular spoon and cover the cheesecake top with a pretty layer. Divide graham topping among jars. For me, the best thing about cheesecake is the crust, so I was heavy handed with the “crust” part of this.

So of course I had to make it look all pretty. I just took one of the many vintage lace doilies I have laying around and tied it to the top with some vintage lace. HOW CUTE, RIGHT?

But the real test? How does is taste? I took one of the larger jars that didn’t look quite as pretty as the short ones for a taste test.

I have to say, not bad. I’m not sure if the consistency is perfect Martha-esque cheesecake consistency, but it’s good. In fact, I think because I used low fat cream cheese and low fat sour cream, it wasn’t nearly as heavy or sweet as regular cheesecake.

OK, but you want to know the skinny? I would pass on these as wedding favors if you had to make 30 or more. Making 6 was pretty easy, but it’s not like you can bake lots of these all at once, what with the water filled baking dish and all. They’ll keep in the fridge for a while if you want to do them in steps. But what about the wedding day? You gotta take them out of refrigeration, transport them and how long will they sit out before your guests get to them? Who wants tepid cheesecake? Ew. Not me. Room temperature dairy stuffs definitely skeeves me out. And if you took them from refrigeration direct to guest, then your jar’s gonna get all foggy and shit. Nah, I’d pass.

However, that being said, I think this is a fantastic dinner party option. I’m going to guess this is MUCH easier than baking a REAL cheesecake. Make it the night before, scoop the toppings on before your guests arrive and everyone has their own mini cheesecake! Everyone wants their own individual cake. It makes you feel special.

Yes, it does.

Update on Wednesday, January 25, 2012 at 8:39AM by Louise

I made these on Sunday. The Candyman has been eating them DAILY since. He's running low on cheesecake jars and isn't happy. These really are GOOD. I had some of The Candyman's cooked in the small jars and the consistency was light and creamy, yet firm like cheesecake. Honestly, I think I might have made some of the best cheesecake I've ever had. And seriously, other than cookies, I can't bake shit. It might taste good, but it's ugly. If it's pretty, it tastes like shit. So, the fact that these are both pretty and taste good is really something for me!

{Unfake Wedding Feature} Sarah & Tony, Part II

Welcome to Part II of Tony and Sarah’s wonderful wedding. Make sure you catch up and read the Prequel and Part I if you’ve missed it. Let’s jump right into the ceremony and reception, OK? Oh, and the detail shots. LOVE me some detail shots!

Please note the official wedding notebook covers.

The ring-bearer totally got handsy with mom, who was reciting (from memory) from The Velveteen Rabbit.

What was your biggest day-of crisis and how did you handle it (or rather, not handle?)?

Our family and friends (thanks, Louise!) helped set up the venue before the ceremony. Since this was a DIY wedding, we had loaded my minivan with (a) all of the alcohol, sodas, waters and juice boxes for the night, (b) all of the décor, and (c) my dad’s hand truck. The day before, Tony and I had made about 8 gallons of Sangria (here’s the recipe we used) to serve during the cocktail hour. The Sangria was in two 5-gallon coolers. My dad had loaded up the hand truck with cases of wine and the two coolers of sangria, and asked me where they went. I was in a hurry, so I pointed toward the bar area that was set up in the herb garden, and for some reason, he accidentally picked up one of the coolers by the lid, spilling four gallons of sangria all over the patio where the ceremony seating would be. Luckily, we had more than enough of everything (we over-bought and were able to return nearly $600 worth of beverages the week after the wedding). The patio was cleaned off, and since we didn’t have an aisle runner, nothing was amiss.

What was your biggest wedding planning crisis and how did you handle it (or rather, not handle?)?

We had quite a few hurdles during wedding planning, but the biggest one by far was my mom’s health crisis. Perversely, this ended up being a blessing in disguise. About three months after we canceled the wedding and moved back to Arizona, my mom’s doctors informed her that her leukemia was in remission, which meant that the fluid that had filled her lungs in early April was a side-effect of a medication she no longer needed. As a result, we were able to have my entire family at the wedding, including my mom and my aunt, as well as other friends who could not have come, and we had a wedding that was much easier on our budget.

Sarah got blocked! Her brother literally had his hand between their faces!

Who was the biggest pain in the ass on your wedding day (you can opt out of this if you’d like)?

Honestly, I probably was. Because we had chosen a venue that required us to be in charge of everything and we didn’t have room in our budget to hire a coordinator, Tony and I spent the week before the wedding schlepping all over town to complete last-minute chores. When the wedding day rolled around, I was tired and cranky. I snapped out of it by the time we drove to the venue, but the morning was not fun.

T30SB Commentary: Whoa there, Sarah.  If by morning you mean before we got there, then maybe. Otherwise, you were a doll. I think the biggest pain in the ass on your wedding day was one of the venue minions. We weren’t allow to start setting up until 4pm, or something like that. We had no time for shenanigans. At ten minutes after 4pm, the venue people didn’t have the tables out so we could start seriously setting up. I inquired within to get the tables going and I got ATTITUDE from some lady about start up times, etc. She was pretty bitchy. I pointed to the clock on the wall in her office, raised my eyebrows and said, “YOU’RE late. Hop to.” I got a little more attitude, but I also got the tables, stat. 

What was the biggest waste of money that you loved?

Just weeks before we canceled the San Francisco wedding, I found a collection of 20 black-and-white antique travel postcards from San Francisco. We had the postcards double-matted and framed in using archival acid-free mats, to use as a guest book. The frame is HUGE. Even though the frame had nothing to do with a desert garden wedding, we loved it so much that we decided to use it anyway. Our daughter signed it four times, and her friend misspelled “marriage” as “mariage.” We have the frame hung over our mantel in our living room, and it makes me smile every day.

What was the biggest waste of money that you wish you’d passed on?

For our San Francisco reception, we had collected a large number of teapot and tea cup sets and chopsticks. Our plan was to serve hot tea with dinner and then give the sets (washed, of course) to our family and friends at the end of the trip. We ended up giving the tea sets as gifts to our wedding helpers at the rehearsal dinner, but I wish we had not purchased them. I would have liked to have had that money available to buy gifts that were personalized for the people who helped us.

What did you love that was also the cheapest?

I loved all of our crafts, and its so fun to see the butterfly corsages in the photos.

Oh my GOD, I love these last two photos. Sarah with that knife and Tony DYING for some cake. Love.

What was the most unexpected thing that happened (not necessarily a bad thing, just a surprise)?

The sangria spill was a bit of a shocker.

T30SB Commentary: I didn’t witness the Sangria Incident, but I smelled it before it saw it. Hello to 4 gallons of alcohol marinated fruit! After it was cleaned up, there was no smell. When I saw the mess, I said, “For the love of God, please don’t tell Sarah!” Then they told me she already knew and I had to shrug it off. Can’t cry over spilled Sangria.

What was the funniest thing that happened?

Our ceremony had many funny moments. When I reached the altar, I asked my son if he wanted to stay up front with us, and he hollered, “No! I’m playing with Zack!” Then he made a mad dash back down the aisle, where my sister-in-law (the Kid Wrangler) caught him. While my sister-in-law was reciting the two readings, her son walked up to join her. Then he started doing yoga poses all around her, until he ended up laying back and kicking his foot up her skirt. Tony cried during his vows, and without even thinking about it, I leaned in to give him a kiss (because, c’mon!), and my brother poked his finger between us and yelled, “Not! Yet!” I wrote about a couple of other funny moments here.

T30SB Commentary: The kiss block was excellent. I also loved the brother-officiant notebook liners: one side was the Star Wars movie poster pic and the other side was “Weddings for Dummies.” And the kids, oh the kids.  Kids were everywhere!

What was the most ooey-gooey, tear-jerking moment?

About 20 minutes before the ceremony, the kids were busy playing and the adults were off greeting guests and finishing the set-up. I sent the photographers off to get photos of details and guests arriving. I grabbed Tony’s hand, and we quietly wandered through the back area of the gardens. We found a secluded spot where we read our vows to each other before we had to say them in front of everyone. Then we spent the next ten minutes or so sitting quietly together on a bench. We could hear people arriving and the buzz of the wedding taking shape, but nobody saw us until Tony tried to sneak a soda from our bartender. Our photographers caught us sharing a soda, but those 15 minutes alone right before the ceremony are my favorite part of the day. When my brother found us a few minutes later, I was calm and ready.

T30SB Commentary: Tony reading his vows, hands down. Couldn’t hear a word of what he said, but the look on his face made me choke up all the same.

Did you DIY? What parts?

Did we DIY? Ha. Hahahahaha. Yes. Practically everything. We planned and coordinated the entire thing, including the rehearsal dinner. I made my bouquet out of vintage enamel brooches and a bath toy. The kids and I made the “flowers” for the flower girls’ bouquets and for the tables out of egg cartons, old buttons, and floral wire. We made the Yay! Flags, 10 origami crane mobiles, origami butterfly stick pins and extra origami butterflies to scatter around the guest book and dessert buffet tables. We made all of the signs. We designed and made our save the dates and invitations (twice). We made the escort cards and out-of-town boxes. We made our playlists for the rehearsal, dinner and dancing music. We wrote our ceremony and vows. We ordered, picked up and returned (unopened) all of the drinks (if you don’t think that’s DIY, you try lifting cases and cases of wine, beer, champagne, sparkling cider, soda, water, and juice boxes in and out of a minivan 6 times in three days). We made 8 gallons of sangria. My mom made the ring pillow. We thrifted the cake stands and milk glass vases. For our San Francisco wedding, we also made decorative chopstick sleeves (we ended up giving the chopsticks away at the rehearsal dinner). We did so much DIY that I’m certain I have forgotten a project or four.

Where did you go on your honeymoon?

We couldn’t afford a traditional honeymoon, but thanks to frequent flyer miles, required travel for business, hotwire, discount City Passes for San Francisco, pre-existing annual Disney passes that were about to expire and plenty of ingenuity, Tony and I were able to spend four days in Chicago together over Veteran’s Day weekend, and we took a week-long driving trip with the kids up to San Francisco, with a stopover at Disneyland on the way there.

If you could do it all over again, what would you change, if anything?

First, I would make sure we had a good sound system for both the ceremony and the reception. Second, I would skip the complicated destination wedding plan altogether. The coordination and expense for both our guests and us were hellish. Even though the reason we canceled our wedding was scary, when we switched the wedding so that it would be happening close to home, everything became infinitely easier and more affordable. We would have been much better off if we had simply started that way instead of wasting time and money on an unworkable plan.

T30SB Commentary: Agree on the sound system. It was SO HARD to hear. Advice to future brides: considering a PA system? When in doubt, GET IT. Best to be well-heard than not.

Congratulations to Tony, Sarah, Bean and Bug!*

*Sarah, I hope I did you proud with this. It really was an honor to feature it.

{Unfake Wedding Feature} Sarah & Tony, Part I

If you missed the Prequel to Sarah and Tony’s Unfake Wedding, you can read it here. I’ll keep this intro bullshit short since I already wrote my part. Now it’s Sarah’s turn. 

Welcome to the Unfake Wedding of Sarah &Tony!

The most important question: wedding night…did you or didn’t you?

You betcha! You don’t wait 22 years to marry your high school sweetheart and then skip the wedding night. Our venue required us to end the reception by 10:30, so we were home nice and early, and our kids had a sleepover with their cousins. We had decided to skip renting a hotel room since our house was so close to the venue, and I am really glad that our first married night was spent in our house. Somehow that made it extra special.

Please take the time to tell me all the vendors you used.

Photographer  Kelly Rashka

DJ/Band  Mariachi Alma Tucsonense (ceremony and cocktail hour music); our personal playlists, enhanced for dance-ability using Ask the DJ software (rehearsal, dinner and dancing).

T30SB Commentary: Best wedding music EVER.

Ceremony/Reception Venue  Tucson Botanical Gardens

Ceremony Venue Planner  The Tucson Botanical Gardens event coordinator, Cassandra, was wonderful to work with.

Transportation We used Tony’s Mini Cooper!

Guest Hotel  Embassy Suites Paloma Village

Flowers  We did not have live flowers, but DIY’d flower substitutes.

Dress  Marine blue Teri Jon evening dress purchased off-the-rack from Saks.

Hair/Make-Up  Margarita GoDiva

Tuxedos/Suits  Tony’s suit came from Nordstrom, our son’s outfit came from Dillard's. They bought their matching shoes at Payless Shoe Source (Tony’s shoes cost $4, and I don’t even want to think about the conditions under which $4 leather shoes were manufactured).

Ties  The Tie Bar

Flower Girl Dress Girls Dress Shop

Bride’s and Flower Girls’ Hair Accessories TruLu Couture

Rings Rambling Rose Estate Jewelry, Old Towne Orange, CA

Bride’s Jewelry  Azure Treasures

Groom’s Cufflinks & Tie Tack Sherry Truitt

Bride’s Wrap Silk Siren

T30SB Commentary: Silk Siren’s work is amazeballs and the photography simply does not do it justice.

Flower Girl’s Shoes  Sketchers “twinkle toes” sneakers.

Invitations  Plantable paper from Of the Earth (we printed our own invitations), design of invitations and RSVP postcards by Lizzie and Isaiah from Love Your Way.

Catering  Acacia Catering

Rehearsal Dinner Catering  Shlomo & Vito’s

Bartender Vicky Randall

Linen Rentals  Special Events Linens

Desserts  Nadine’s Bakery

“Guest Book” Framing  Aaron Brothers

Who was your favorite vendor and why?

I don’t think I have a specific favorite vendor. Everyone we worked with helped us in such a great way. I would hire them all again in a heartbeat.

Was there a “method to your madness” in choosing your vendors?

No. We luckily bumped into fantastic vendors like a pinball in the arcade. We picked the venue because it was beautiful, and our daughter loves it. The venue required us to use the caterer. The event coordinator for the venue recommended the bartender and the linen rental company. I was already familiar with the bakery. One of my many blog friends, Mouse, recommended our photographer, and our photographer recommended the stylist. We found our rings when we were out junk-shopping one weekend. My mom had heard and loved the mariachi band, so we hired them for her. Tony had a specific style of jacket in mind, and we happened to see something that would work in Nordstrom, and I happened to have about $270 in reward credits, so we bought his suit there. Of course, we used TruLu Couture for the hair accessories because I knew her.

T30SB Commentary: Friendors can be a blessing or a curse. I’m always terrified to do work for a friend, but I’ve been very lucky so far! If you are a bride and are lucky to have a Friendor in the wedding industry, do yourselves a favor and pay them somehow for their services. I gave my Friendor wedding planner a framed oil painting I found in Viet Nam that, for some reason, spoke to me of her (she’s from Singapore). Do something to pay them serious homage for their hard work. I think my “payment” to my Friendor only scratched the surface of the debt I owe her for her magnanimous gift to me and The Candyman.

How long did you take to plan your wedding?

The wedding we had is not the wedding we planned. We spent a year planning and crafting for a wedding. Our plan was a destination wedding in San Francisco, in which we would rent a Victorian in the Alamo Square area of San Francisco that was large enough to house us, including my two kids, and all of my family, including my parents, brothers, sisters-in-law and niece and nephews. We had reserved the fourth floor gallery of City Hall and a classical guitarist for our ceremony; then we planned to take all of our guests on a rented party cable car back to the Victorian, which would be set up for a dinner party at which we planned to serve Chinese food from our favorite San Francisco restaurant and an assortment of cakes and cupcakes. After we had everything planned and had mailed our invitations, we learned that my mom could not travel due to her health. Since the whole idea had been to give my family a once-in-a-lifetime chance to take a vacation together (I was 11 years old the last time my family traveled together), we knew we could not have the wedding without my mom there. After Tony and I talked about the situation together, and then with our kids, we decided to cancel the wedding and move it to Tucson, which is the city where Tony and I grew up and where my entire family still lives. I spent one day canceling the San Francisco wedding. At that point, I was in a daze, worried about my mom and other family and job-related concerns, so I no longer had time to spend days or weeks researching venues and vendors. The day after I canceled all of our San Francisco contracts, I picked a new date and signed contracts with our venue, the caterer (which is the required caterer for the venue), a local mariachi band my mom loves, and had sent an inquiry to the photographer. About a week before all of this happened, I had already accepted a job that required us to move back to Tucson anyway. As a result of moving and switching jobs, we did nothing for the wedding for the next five months, until I realized that our invitations needed to be mailed and that we needed to get cracking on a new to-do list. So, we spent a year making crafts and planning one wedding, and we spent 2 months planning the wedding we actually had.

How many guests did you invite versus how many came?

Because we had space limitations and budget worries for the San Francisco plan, we initially invited 45 people to our San Francisco wedding, expecting that about 28 people would show up. We did not invite a lot of Tucson people because of the cost of travel. In fact, we did not invite my beloved aunt, who is my mom’s older sister because we knew she would not be able to manage travel to and walking around in San Francisco. When we moved the wedding to Tucson, we had more space and expanded the guest list, but we knew we would lose some people who could not to travel to Tucson. We ended up inviting 87 people, and 45 people came. We did not have any no-shows who had RSVP’d.

What was your budget?

We didn’t have a set budget. Our goal was to have a relaxed, informal but still pretty wedding for the least cost possible. The San Francisco wedding plan had several high cost items (City Hall, cable car and Victorian rentals, photography, tourism/travel) that meant that we had very little budget for any of the pretty things like décor or even a wedding dress. Frankly, the whole plan was turning into a budget nightmare. When we moved the wedding to Tucson, we were able to eliminate almost all of the high-cost items from our budget (no more accommodations and travel costs, no separate ceremony and reception rental costs, the photographer’s rates were half the cost of the San Francisco photographer, no need to rent transportation, the band was less money, etc., etc.). As a result, our total costs for everything -- including money we could not recoup from the San Francisco planning -- ended up somewhere in the range of $12,000 to $14,000, but that was spread out over nearly two years.

Did you include rings and/or the honeymoon in your budget?

The total costs includes everything: all the rings, our honeymoon and family moon, the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, photography, attire for all four of us, décor, favors, band, music, food, drinks, desserts. It’s all in there. Our rings were (relatively) inexpensive because my rings are antiques, which cost substantially less than new retail rings. One thing to note, however, is that some things that would otherwise have cost money were free-to-us. For example, we have a lot of crafting and art tools and supplies on hand. We had friends who were married shortly after we were engaged, and they gave us all of the votive holders, LED candles, and other miscellaneous décor, which saved us a bundle. I own a minivan, and my dad loaned us his hand truck so we didn’t need to rent a van to schlep the supplies. Tony owns a cute little Mini Cooper, so we didn’t rent transportation for us. My brother loaned us the sound system for the reception, and he served as our officiant (no officiant fees). Our blog friends sent us a lovely gift to help us pay for our photography after we lost the photography contest, and the artwork for our invitations, RSVP cards and thank you notes was a wedding gift.

Were you over or under budget? By how much?

I can’t really say because we did not set a specific budget goal other than “free is always better than not free, and if it’s not free, what’s the cheapest way we can do X?” When we started wedding planning, we had more wiggle room in our budget, but by the time the wedding rolled around, my salary had been cut in half, which meant that things were really tight. Since we did not set a specific budget number, we were happy that everything together we had cost less than half of what the San Francisco wedding alone would have cost.

How large was your bridal party?

We did not have a traditional wedding party. My daughter and niece were flower girls, my son was supposed to be the ring bearer, but he chickened out at the last minute, so he walked up the aisle with Tony and waived a Yay! Flag, and one of my nephews stepped in as ring bearer. One sister-in-law was our reader, and my other sister-in-law was the official Kid Wrangler. One of my brothers was our officiant (ordained for free by American Marriage Ministries), my other brother was my witness, and Tony’s friend Karen acted as Tony’s witness.

Did you have favors for your guests? If so, what were they? How much did you spend?

For our San Francisco wedding, we had made wooden luggage tags that we had planned to use as favors and escort cards. To make the tags, I did a photo-emulsion of a vintage travel poster on one side, decoupaged our guests’ names and phone numbers on the reverse side, stained the entire tag using a “Golden Oak” color to age it, and then applied several layers of polyurethane until there was a thick, protective poly coating. We finished them with a sturdy luggage tag cable. The tags came out great, but we didn’t have tags for all of our guests because we had expanded our guest list when we moved the wedding. The tags took many weeks to complete, and I just wasn’t up to major craft projects after we canceled the first wedding, so we gave the tags we had to our friends and family privately. The costs for this project included the unfinished wooden tags (from Save-On Crafts), 12 sheets of 8 ½ X 11 cardstock, brown-toned paper, Elmer’s washable school glue, Modpodge, Golden Oak furniture stain, a foam paintbrush, polyurethane, luggage tag cables, an Epson inkjet printer, and Photoshop. The only things that we didn’t have on hand were the wooden tags, brown-toned paper, and luggage cables. I think we spent $25 total and made 75 tags.

In honor of our venue, which is a botanical garden that teaches sustainable desert landscaping and farming, our invitations and the inserts in our Out-of-Town boxes were made out of plantable paper, so our guests received a “favor” of wildflower seeds with our paper products. We purchased the papers (backing paper, 8 ½ X 11 sheets, envelopes, vegetable-dyed “bands” and a vegetable dyed twistable rope-like paper for tying everything together) and printed everything on our home printer. I addressed the envelopes by hand, and we used standard-issue postage. We spent about $4.25 per invitation, including postage, with a ton of leftover paper and envelopes that we used for other projects.

During the week when I was busy canceling our first wedding and making arrangements for the replacement wedding, I folded origami butterflies in the evenings using some beautiful papers that I had purchased on our last trip to San Francisco. I made little antennae out of some old acrylic paints and fishing line that we had on hand, and then I hot glued the butterflies to stick pins (I spent about $5 on a bag of 100 silver stick pins) to make corsages. We had plantable flower paper leftover from the invitations, so I tore the paper into small pieces, wrote each guest’s name on the paper using an art pen to use as escort cards, and we attached a butterfly corsage to each escort card. Since this project was done using all leftover materials except the stick pins, I have no idea how much it actually cost per favor.

San Francisco City Hall does not allow you to throw anything like rice, bird seed, or flower petals following a wedding. They also do not allow sparklers. We therefore decided to make Yay! Flags using natural colored fabric mini-flags we purchased from Oriental Trading and iron-on transfers. We made our designs in Photoshop and printed the transfers on our home printer. Since we already had the software and ink for the printer, our costs were limited to the transfers and the flags themselves.

We made Out-of-Town boxes that had 1 bottle of water, a travel package of Tylenol, a travel package of Excedrin, a biscotti, a brownie from a local company (Fairy Tale Brownies), a bag of baked chips, a tourist guide from the Visitor’s Bureau (free), a map to the wedding locations (airport, hotels, our house for the rehearsal, and the Botanical Gardens), and a letter from us. We used tissue paper that I had on hand in our wrapping paper box to line the boxes and decorated the boxes with butterfly and hummingbird stamps using a black ink pad. For guests who hadn’t received their luggage tags yet, we included the tags in the box. I think we spent about $5 per box, but we only had 10 boxes to make, so it was totally worth it.

For the kids, we purchased little goody boxes and filled them with party toys and trinkets. The total cost per box was $2.

Since the kids were too little for the butterfly stick pins, I pulled out some sippy cups that I had leftover from a birthday party. The cups (purchased years ago from Oriental Trading) are the kind that have paper inserts so that the kids can decorate them. I wrote each child’s name on the paper and decorated the paper with the butterfly stamps. This was a no-cost project because I had the materials on hand.

For the kids, we also had a piñata that I filled with candy. The piñata cost $20, and I spent about $7 on candy. Totally worth it.

I have a collection of milk glass candy dishes. We served butter mints in the candy dishes on each table (I left the lids at home so they wouldn’t get broken). We tried to make the butter mints ourselves, but they didn’t turn out, so I ended up buying a gallon-sized box of them from Amazon. I don’t remember how much this cost.

We decided to do the 1001 crane project. To display the cranes, we assembled them into 10 mobiles of roughly 100 cranes each. At the end of the wedding, we sent guests who wanted a mobile home with one, keeping two for ourselves (one for each of our kids). I don’t know what this cost, but we spent about six months completing the crane mobiles. The supplies included: origami paper, pre-formed pressed board wreaths with holes pre-drilled, beads, fishing line, and hot glue. You can see the instructions for this project here.

Finally, our wedding was the week before Halloween. On a last-minute trip to Michael’s, we purchased three tubes of neon bracelets that were on sale for safe trick-or-treating. Each tube cost $1 and contained 25 bracelets. The neon was a huge hit.

T30SB Commentary: I ♥ my luggage tag. The Candyman uses his too!

Did you include any special family traditions?

We wrote our own ceremony, so we didn’t include existing family traditions, but it was important to us to include our children in the ceremony in a meaningful way. Tony said vows to the kids, and we included a family sand ceremony.

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You’re going to have to check back to see the final installment of Sarah & Tony’s wedding! You’ll not want to miss any of their amazing DIY details, nor the gooey romance that is Sarah and Tony!